Each parent wants to raise a child who is much appreciated and loved by everyone. No parent would ever want to raise a spoiled kid. But sometimes the parental desire to give their children the best to make their lives comfortable and secure may cause results that aren’t in line with their original parenting plan.
Child psychologists have been working on this issue since a long time. They call it the “Spoiled Child Syndrome”. This is characterized by certain patterns of a child’s behaviour.
In this article we
have written down some of the signs of this syndrome and their solution.
1. The child talks to their parents like they do their peers, and it has nothing to do with “being friends” with them.
Let’s face it. If a child is spoiled, it’s not their fault, it is their parents’. They have failed to set boundaries, make strict rules, and didn’t give any direction in life. As a result, the child does not feel parental authority. They believe that they have the same place in a family hierarchy (or even higher) as their parents so they can act in a disrespectful and presumptuous manner.
SOLUTION: Set some ground rules for your child, set boundaries, and show them the path to a better life. Make time tables for them that is easy to stick to or create planners for them to get them organized. You must show authority. Tell them what is good and bad. Deal with them in a ‘reward and punishment’ method. You need not punish them but have a system of give and take. For example, if they achieved a simple goal, reward them with a chocolate, or some extra time with their friends. If they do not listen to you or disobey you in any manner, punish them by cutting down their play time, their TV time or by increasing their study period.
2. The child has a low self-esteem and lacks confidence.
Have you ever wanted to show your child that they’re special and make everyone around you proud of their achievements? Would you like to be a superhero who can destroy all the obstacles in your child’s way? When the parents act this way, they deprive the child of an opportunity to build confidence in themselves, learn from their mistakes, and overcome difficulties. Spoiled children have to face the real world but when they don’t get a familiar reaction, they get confused, don’t understand how they can fix the situation, and start doubting themselves.
SOLUTION: Be a good role model. Praise your child when they do something good, but don’t overpraise them, praise their efforts. Avoid harsh criticism, focus on their strengths, encourage them to do what they like and not what you want them to like and do. Help them improve on other aspects, on the things they have potential to succeed in. Allow your child to help others. When you teach them how to do things, show and help them at first.
3. The child wants to occupy all of your free time.
A spoiled child strongly depends on their family members. In this situation, children are the center of the family’s universe so parents become a source of happiness for them as well. It is important to pay enough attention to the children but they should also understand that their parents have their own needs and need their own space. When family life revolves around a kid’s wishes, it is a sure sign that the child is spoiled.
SOLUTION: Tell them beforehand that you need a break for a specific duration. Ask them to engage with their toys, educational activity kits like Xplorabox, books, or anything creative during this time off. If you say you need an hour break, make sure you adhere to your words because your child is following your footsteps. Therefore if you say something, you must stick to it, or else your child will procrastinate and behave the same way as well.
4. The child doesn’t recognize authority and often argues with adults.
Have your ever met parents who always protect their children and look after their interests if someone accuses their kids of doing something wrong? On the one hand, it’s a natural pattern of behaviour but if parents don’t discuss the situation with the child behind closed doors after the incident and just keep blaming teachers and other adults, the child may start feeling like they can get away with anything. They may think that they’re always right and other people are just fools who don’t know anything. Besides, the parents aren’t authority figures for a spoiled child, so there’s no chance they’ll respect anyone else.
SOLUTION: Discuss things with them. Don’t raise your voice. Talk to them in a calm and collected manner. Make them understand that you are the authority. Do not blame teachers or other adults under any circumstances. Understand why are others complaining and talk it out with your child.
5. The child doesn’t understand the value of money.
Modern marketing specialists know that there are many ways to make children believe that they need something. Advertisements affect children more negatively in comparison to adults. That is why it is important to teach them how to resist social pressure. The child should understand that money doesn’t appear out of nowhere and parents have to work hard to earn it. When parents try to protect their children from such ‘complicated’ matters, they end up raising a spoiled child who believes that their wishes are more important than that of the family budget.
Spoiled children are less likely to be financially independent and have a higher chance of ending up in debt when they grow up. They get used to the fact that all their wishes come true without any effort from their side so they take out loans to fulfill their cravings for things but don’t think in advance about how they’re going to pay off the debt.
SOLUTION: Teach your child how to save money in order to secure their future. Help your child to understand that every penny requires hard work and doesn’t just appear out of anywhere. Don’t just get them everything what they want. Make a goal or a task for them, in order to achieve what they want or what they crave for. And make sure you adhere to your commitment if they complete their task or goal.
6. The child often complains that they’re bored.
Even a 1 year old child can concentrate on one task for about 15 minutes. By the age of 3, children usually can entertain themselves. If the child doesn’t know how to deal with their boredom and is always waiting until someone shows up and becomes their personal animator, it’s another sign that they are spoiled. How are all these factors connected? For example, the more the toys a child has, the more difficult it is for them to concentrate on a game and develop their creativity.
SOLUTION: Help them to concentrate and focus by giving one game at a time. A child’s attention span is less. Help them with cognitive activities that help them increase their focus. Make them learn to do one thing at a time, to complete one task first and them move on to another. Encourage them to play games on their own or read a book when they get bored. You can even ask them to do a household chore like cleaning up their cupboard or shelf when they say they are bored.
7. The child can’t control their emotions.
We all fail to deal with our emotions sometimes but spoiled children don’t even have the chance to learn how to control themselves. They suffer from major mood swings and show the same infantile attitude even when they get older. They see every problem as drama, their good mood is overwhelming, and they can’t suppress tears or laughter. They don’t get used to controlling their temper, analyzing their behaviour, or talking about their experiences and feelings. For them, the only way to express their emotions is through vivid demonstration.
SOLUTION: Help them to deal with their emotions. They must know how to think about the problem, then analyze it, and then react to it rather than just seeing it as a drama. Meditation helps in controlling emotions and facing problems with a calm nature.
In the above mentioned six points, you learnt which all signs depicts that your child is on the path of becoming a spoiled child. We also mentioned the solution to each behaviour. Helping your child during their developmental years is very important as they grasp everything that is in front of them. The display of your behaviour, your usage of words, your reactions, your control, etc, is being watched and copied by your child. You are their role model. In order to see them as a better person, you must observe yourself as well.
Of course, what can be
easier than giving advice on how to bring up other people’s kids? But sometimes
it’s essential to get a second impartial opinion
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